Talking to someone about suicide can feel daunting, but your willingness to listen could make all the difference. For World Suicide Prevention Day, Heather Jackson, Helpline Centre Assistant Manager at Mental Health Matters, has put together guidance on how to approach this crucial conversation with care and confidence.

1. Create a Safe and Private Environment

When talking to someone about suicide, the first and most important thing to do is to make sure you are in a confidential and safe environment where you won't be disturbed. It's important to allow the person time and space to express how they are feeling, no matter how long it takes.

2. Be Direct and Ask About Suicide

Be direct and have the confidence to ask directly about suicide whilst being supportive and empathetic. Use phrases such as "I am really concerned about you; have you been thinking about suicide?" This will show the person you care and you want to hear what they have to say.

Asking directly about suicide will not cause further harm or make them think about it more - it is a step in allowing someone the space to talk freely about their thoughts without judgement or repercussions.

3. Use Appropriate Language

When talking about suicide, it is important to avoid language such as "doing something silly" or "that is stupid", as this can cause a person's thoughts to be minimised. Using language such as "Do you want to die by suicide?" or "Are you going to attempt to take your own life?" is direct but does not stigmatise suicide.

Also, do not be afraid to use words the person says - if someone you are supporting says "I am going to kill myself", you can ask "Do you have a plan to kill yourself?" This will validate their thoughts and ensure they have been heard.

4. Be Honest About Confidentiality

Once the conversation starts, it is important that you do not promise to keep things secret, especially if there is an immediate risk. Be open about any steps you may need to take, like involving other people, and ensure they are part of that journey.

Ensure the person knows they are not in trouble and others are available to help them, offering to be there whilst you make that call if that makes them feel better.

5. Ask About Protective Factors

When talking about suicide, it is important to ask about protective factors and what the person feels they need to help themselves. Knowing this information can help you create a safety plan with the person to ensure they stay safe and get the correct support they need.

Do not use this information to make them feel guilty for their thoughts - for example, don't use phrases such as "What would your family think if you did this?" Instead, use their family as a protective factor and ask if they would feel comfortable opening up to them about their thoughts.

6. Have Resources Ready

Do your research and have on hand some organisations, leaflets, telephone numbers, or websites that you can pass on to the person to get professional help if they need it.

A good place to start is Mental Health Matters helpful resources, or other comprehensive directories like Hub of Hope or Mind, which can help you find local and national support services. Once they have this information, assure them you are there to talk and reassure them they are not alone.

7. Remember You Are Not Alone

Lastly, remember you are not alone in supporting someone who is thinking of suicide. You can open the door for the first conversation, but there is no quick fix to get rid of these thoughts. There are professionals and organisations out there that can support the person in feeling safe and on their journey to recovery.

This World Suicide Prevention Day let's work together to ensure that no one faces their darkest moments alone.